Our Life with Oliver

Dear Oliver, Happy 1st Birthday. I am in shock that it has been a year since I got to see your beautiful face and hold your precious little body. You were 3lbs,15 oz, 15.5 inches long and born at 5:49pm. We spent 34 weeks and 5 days together. In that short time, our bond became so strong. I know everything about you and I know that you are still with me. I know that you are a strong, brave, beautiful and amazing little boy. Strong and brave because you beat the odds. Because you didn't accept that timeline the doctors had set, because you stayed with me for as long as you could hold out for. Beautiful and amazing because you changed my life and changed my heart. You have made me a better person, a better mother, a better wife, a better daughter, a better friend. You have touched the lives of so many other people. I am so proud of all you have accomplished in your short life here on Earth. I know the celebration in Heaven is going to be wonderful. I wish that I could be with you,

I was given the option to medically terminate, to abort - and I considered that option. I chose that option. I sat on that for a week. I thank God everyday - that I reconsidered and plan to carry my son for as long as he would let me. As I considered to terminate my pregnancy I asked if I would be able to hold Oliver after and how the process would go. As I learned that a medicine would need to be injected to stop his heart - that idea was just something I couldn't go through with. He would have been so tiny at 20 weeks and even holding him then, I wouldn't have been able to truly see my son. How could I do that to my baby? I sat on this for a week. For one week I laid on the couch and felt my baby move and contemplated what I would do. What would be best for me? my baby? my family?  The only question that needed to be answered - As his mother - what is best for my son? I thank God that I was informed that I could carry him to term. That I was contacted to go over this

There was only one ultrasound that I was able to enjoy with Oliver - and that was the gender ultrasound. We found out we were having a precious baby boy! All of the others - were sad and upsetting with more bad news and information on what health issues Oliver had. The 20 week anatomy scan was the worst to come. Everything was confirmed and the "waiting game" began. Yet still beating the odds and making it to 35 weeks. I was blessed with such a fighter and amazing little boy. With the journey we had with Oliver - has made every ultrasound with Olive a scare for me. I have gone in very anxious and cautious. We have been blessed to know that Olive has passed all of the tests and is a very healthy baby girl. Measuring a week ahead and already making her personality known. The 20 week scan - was beautiful. Her kidneys were perfect and we were able to see her bladder - which we were not able to see with her brother. Her heart and brain are in perfect order. We have been truly