Our Life with Oliver

Yesterday I turned 28. I received so many birthday wishes - thank you all for that.  I still felt pretty incomplete without my son Oliver and my brother Ivan.  I went to my moms and stayed at her house. I went on a walk with Opal and took that time to pray. I feel really lost lately and I am asking God for a lot right now. As I ended my prayer - I saw a green butterfly. That was my brother. Ivan wanted to make sure he said happy birthday to me.  When I went inside and told my mom - I was still a little sad. My brother sends a lot of signs. Oliver didn't live on earth - there wasn't any items I could attach him to.  I am in a "mom group" and a mom was looking for ideas for something to send to another loss mama who recently lost her baby. I told her whatever gift if perfect - because thinking of her and her baby is gift enough. I said I would have loved for a reminder of my boy when I said goodbye from a friend. She took it upon herself to send me this. This was weeks...

I've been debating speaking my mind on this. There have been so many posts and so many things said. First things first -- I pray for all of those affected by this tragedy, those affected directly and indirectly. The lives lost - may they not be in vain. That all of these beautiful people that now exist above us - instead of beside - may be remembered always as the beautiful people they are. I pray that their loved ones have love, strength, and healing on this journey of mourning. As I have just brought another new child into this world - it really saddens me that we are experiencing another tragedy. Two tragedies back to back - both unnecessary and heartbreaking.  I've seen a post circulate saying  "I wouldn't change my children for the world, but I wish I could change this world for my children." I am not sure what has happened - or why. This world we live in - is a beautiful world - filled with so many beautiful people - but there has been some ...