August & the Amnio

8-9-12
Today I went to the doctor – for what I thought would be a quick check for the heart beat and be on my way. The doctor appointments have been every two weeks to check on the heartbeat. This appointment turned into a 3 hour appointment – with 1 hour of waiting. Horrible. Then the doctor checked for his heart beat, super irregular and sporadic. I am still measuring fine. She said if we wait til birth to gather cells – they may not be viable and we may not be able to have any answers as to what is going on. So we talked about an amnio – again. I decided to do it and we did that about 15 minutes later. However – with this – they took all the fluid I had left. I had barely any as it was. I am a little sore in the belly, had a contraction after they were done. Decided to go to work anyway because I didn't want to sit at home and just think about everything all day. I just sit at work on the computer anyway, so the doctor said it wouldn't be a risk to go.
I wish the results from the amnio were immediate. I do not like waiting on things especially in this case. About 2 weeks until the results – and I will have my bi weekly appointment by then. I felt him move a lot after the amnio – so that made me happy. Praying that it all works out the way it is intended to. 

8-21-12
Saw the doctor today. The amnio came back normal. Which is good for future pregnancies, but doesn’t give us any answers for Oliver. Heart beat is still there. Another check up in 2 weeks.

These results make me feel hopeful for Oliver. I know what his diagnosis is and one part of me understands what will eventually happen, where the other side of me - is praying and hoping the doctors are wrong and we won't experience the heartbreak we are preparing for. 

Hopefully after birth we can figure out what is exactly wrong with his kidneys and bladder. And if the dandy walker has an affect on the health issues. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Being Home - 10/26

Image
We got home Friday evening. Took all of his pictures and put them on the computer and ordered them already. I can't stop looking at his face. I just wish we could have had more time, but in reality - all that time wouldn't be enough. I want him for a lifetime, I want to watch him grow up. I want to have fights about who is getting up in the middle of the night to feed him. I want to experience all of his milestones. I want him to be here with us every second of every day. Accepting what has happened is going to be a life long process. There will be no going back to normal for us. Now we will need to create a new normal - with Oliver's memories. Not a day will go by that we won't think about him, that we won't miss him and that is going to be something will we learn to work through. Just because Oliver is not here physically with us, does not mean we aren't parents. We are still his mom and dad, and we are so proud of him. He beat the odds of all of the doctors...
Read more

The Autopsy Results

Image
Today has been 2 weeks since we said hello & goodbye. I had a doctors appointment with the OBGYN, and if going to that office wasn't annoying enough without this tragedy - they really had to top it off today. I have been there 20 times during my pregnancy and today I am greeted by a completely different nurse - who does not have my file pulled - and asks me why I am at the office today, then how many pregnancies I have had. I have to go through the heartbreak of saying I lost a baby (miscarriage) 6 years ago, and my son was stillborn 2 weeks ago. Of course - I made it all morning without crying and one question has put me in tears in front of 1 too many people. She apologizes and I respond with the broken record response - "Thank you, it's not your fault." I go to the second waiting room - and I see the nurses I am used to - who know what has been happening and that Oliver is gone. I show them pictures and give them birth announcements. It was the first time tha...
Read more

If it meant I could hold him again...

Image
The first and last picture I have of our son. That day, I knew our journey had ended. I knew in my gut that it was time for us to say goodbye. We were finally going to be able to see what this little boy looked like. All of the ultrasounds were so vague, just enough to see movements. The 3D ultrasound wasn't even an option, being that we had no amniotic fluid. One part of me felt cheated, that I could see everyone else have these and I wouldn't be able to. The other part felt excited, that we were going to have a complete surprise and not have any ultrasound pictures to compare him to. Since we couldn't have the 3D with Oliver, we will follow that with our future children. Why? Because, if we do this with the next child, I will forever have a bitter taste that I did it for one child, but not the other. I want to try and have the same keepsakes for each child. I have such a fear that I will not be able to keep his memory alive, that I won't be able to include him ...
Read more