Hypnobirthing - Opal's Home Birth

It's been awhile since I have posted. 

I'll get to that in another post. 

Last night I had my first session of Hypnobirthing. 

I wanted to have a natural home birth with Oliver. However, as many of you know - that was not an option. At 12 weeks that idea and want of mine was taken away. 

I went and checked out a birth center when I was pregnant with Olive, but my emotions were not ready to allow me to have that either. I was too paranoid and too concerned that we needed a back up  at the hospital. Since Oliver was never diagnosed with a "condition" - the hospital made a better option for my peace of mind and heart. 

After I had Olive - I said that her birth - brought healing to my heart. I birthed a beautiful baby girl - perfect and healthy in every way. A beautiful blessing from above. 

That said - I still was longing for healing of my body. I have held a lot of guilt on my body for having so many losses. It was a constant thought - "if and when I get pregnant again - I will have a healing birth". 

With Opal - my morning sickness and exhaustion have been extreme - but mentally - I feel great. I know she is healthy, safe and watched over from above. I am not letting fear take over. She is a gift from God - and we will have a beuatiful birth. 

Oliver's birth was beautiful - as he was my first born son and the moment I became a mother. 

Olive's birth was beautiful - as she was our first rainbow baby. A baby we were able to hear cry out and to spend time here on Earth with us as a family. 

Opal's birth will be beautiful because she will be our second rainbow - our home birth baby - a miracle baby - who was in His plan for us, not ours. 

During the session last night - there was a relaxation exercise. The description provided - to go to a kitchen I love - to smell the food being made. I found myself in my mothers kitchen. It wasn't the food she was making that relaxed me. It wasn't the kitchen itself really. It was because when I went to that place - my brother was there. Ivan - the strongest man I know - was there with me. He may have left us physically - but he has never left my heart nor my side. He is giving me strength. 

I truly believe that Oliver and Ivan are guiding me through this process and they are the reason for Opal. I feel such a presence of the two of them with me everyday. And I know they will be there during the birth of this precious new princess. 

13 weeks left (give or take) until Opal comes earth side - I am in no rush - as I know that there is a plan - greater than me. 


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