Being Home - 10/26

We got home Friday evening. Took all of his pictures and put them on the computer and ordered them already. I can't stop looking at his face. I just wish we could have had more time, but in reality - all that time wouldn't be enough. I want him for a lifetime, I want to watch him grow up. I want to have fights about who is getting up in the middle of the night to feed him. I want to experience all of his milestones. I want him to be here with us every second of every day. Accepting what has happened is going to be a life long process. There will be no going back to normal for us. Now we will need to create a new normal - with Oliver's memories. Not a day will go by that we won't think about him, that we won't miss him and that is going to be something will we learn to work through.

Just because Oliver is not here physically with us, does not mean we aren't parents. We are still his mom and dad, and we are so proud of him. He beat the odds of all of the doctors. They told us we would not make it this far and he did. He fought the whole time and we were able to see his beautiful face and hold his adorable  little body. He may have not lived, but he is living in our hearts and our love for him will grow everyday. He has forever changed our lives and if we had to - we would do it all over again.

We had the best and worst experience of any parents life all in one moment. As a woman once told me who experienced this situation - "It is the most beautiful experience that I do not wish upon anybody."


Comments

  1. CatherineOctober 30, 2012 at 7:46 AM

    Oliver is absolutely beautiful, as are your words. Thank you for sharing your precious son. Sending you lots of love during this difficult time <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownNovember 7, 2012 at 7:31 PM

    Our babies were born the same day. I know that they are together and I hope that they are the best of friends. I have to believe that our beautiful angels are together because I can't bear them being alone. He is such a beautiful little man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CJ Suarez {olive.rs mom}November 7, 2012 at 7:40 PM

      <3 They are together keeping each other company until we are with them again <3

      Thank you

      Delete

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