The Genetics Appointment

Thursday was the genetics appointment. I was hoping that after this appointment there would be some type of closure, that there would be an answer as to why I had to lose my son. Clearly, this was not the case.

The purpose of this referral from my doctor, was to confirm that this was not a genetic syndrome, that what has happened to Oliver was a "fluke", for lack of a better term, that the chances of this happening again would be close to none. But then again, it should have never happened in the first place. Oliver should be here, he should be 7 weeks and 2 days old.

The appointment was about 30-40 minutes long, with the same things being said over and over again. There was no answer, no closure, nothing.


  • It could be a chromosomal syndrome, that was not discovered when they tested his chromosomes from the amnio. Something smaller within the individual chromosomes themselves, even though he had a normal number of chromosomes.
  • It could be a gene that both Andrew and I are silent carriers of that passed along to Oliver. If this is the case then we would have a 25% chance of each child receiving this. We would have to do super invasive testing and do IVF to try to prevent it from passing along -IF it is one of the genes that they are able to catch.
  • It could be absolutely just a "fluke", that we will never have an answer to. 
We could do a million tests and still come back without an answer. I declined any type of further testing. The doctor says, in our next pregnancy if we see these same abnormalities then we would be able to terminate, because we know what the outcome would be. I very quickly stated, I didn't terminate Oliver and I would never terminate any other of my children. I am not the one to make that call, nor is anyone else here on earth. If I would have terminated Oliver, I would have never seen how beautiful and amazing he is. 

Oliver will forever remain a beautiful mystery. He will forever be our son. 

{until we see you again Oliver}
...Our love continues to grow..

Comments

  1. Myriam ReyesDecember 15, 2012 at 4:05 PM

    That is exactly the same thing they said to me. When I went to the genetics appt. I was told it was a fluke. That it wouldn't happen again. When I was pregnant with Jamie they asked if I wanted testing done so I could terminate if there was a problem. Told them no thank you, don't believe in killing my baby if it's not perfect. Had her then they said "oops, it WAS a genetic defect. There is a 25% chance of this happening again if I had another child".

    ReplyDelete
  2. CatherineDecember 15, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    I'm so sorry you weren't given any answers about precious Oliver :(

    We're in the middle of working with a team of geneticists to try to figure out the odds of recurrence (either 1% of 25% based on the results) in future babies. Originally we were told it was just a spontaneous fluke but further testing and the autopsy showed indications of a genetic disease.

    Sending hugs and prayers <3

    ReplyDelete

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